My strange collection

I was late to the social media game. I never had a myspace account, and most of my friends had been on Facebook for a year or so before I joined. The first time I heard about twitter, I thought it was silly. I was a thirty-something year old woman with a husband, two kids, and a minivan who lived in suburbia. How interesting could one of my tweets or posts really be?

But one day at work a friend talked me into joining Facebook, and it wasn’t long before I had twitter, Instagram, tumblr and snapchat. This week I even joined a new site called Vero.

I tell people all the time that I’m on social media because of my job. And that is “mostly” true. Being an author means I have to promote myself constantly. I spend at least 3 hours every single day on marketing. Much of that is creating, tweaking and analyzing my ads. But some of that is creating and constructing myself – my brand. Posting videos, pictures, blog entries, facebook posts, Instagram posts, stories, tweets. Then there’s the time I spend interacting with my fans, whether it be in my fan club or in facebook and Instagram messages, emails or snapchat pictures.

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I love my life. I love being an author. I love interacting with my fans. I love that my readers allow me to live my dream.

But sometimes I forget to love myself. Sometimes I don’t even know who I am.

I spend my days collecting likes, comments, messages, sales. I gather them, holding them close and allowing them to speak to me. To whisper into my heart, determining my worth. Some days I’m on top of the world, standing on a giant mountain of my likes, sales, impressions and clicks. Other days, I’m wallowing in an empty pit.

It’s hard to be okay with myself when I live in a world of likes, comments and views. It’s even harder in my business. Validation is something I crave, but often it’s hard to come by.

I hate that I reach for my phone a million times a day to check posts, sales, comments, views, clicks, stats, impressions. But it’s reality. It’s not going to change. At least not right now.

But my mindset can.

I am more than the amount of likes I get, and so are you.

Psalms 139: 13 reads:

13 For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

God valued me long before I opened my facebook account, started this blog or published a book. And he called me “wonderfully” made.

Recently, God’s been speaking to me about identity. He’s been gently reminding me of all the times he’s been there, cheering me on, loving me, elevating me, holding me. And he’s been doing this in many ways – through others, through his word and through songs.

As you know, worship is my jam. Lately, I’ve been obsessed with this song by Cory Asbury called Reckless Love.

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It’s been speaking to my heart more than any other song has in a long time. It goes like this:

“Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn’t earn it, and I don’t deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah

There’s no shadow You won’t light up
Mountain You won’t climb up
Coming after me
There’s no wall You won’t kick down
Lie You won’t tear down
Coming after me”

There is nothing more true in my life than God’s unconditional love for me. He loves me if my writing is beautiful or if it’s crap. He loves me when my books are selling and when they’re not. He loves me when my singing is on point or when my harmonies royally suck.  He loves me when my post gets 100 likes or when it gets 2.

That doesn’t mean I won’t work hard.  I will strive to do my best for him because he’s worth it.

But I’ll remember that I’m worth it too.

And so are you.

amber8

 
   

 

 

 

 

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