The struggle is real – getting back into it

We’ve all been there. We go on vacation and then come home to reality and it’s just tough. Tough to find our routine again. Tough to get back to the daily grind. Tough to stop longing for the lazy days of vacation and focus on reality.

That’s where I find myself today.

Normally I look forward to my kids returning to school, but that wasn’t the case this year. And there are many reasons for this. One is that they are older now. My son is 16, and my daughter is 13. It really hit me this summer that I don’t have a lot of time left with them. In fact, next summer I’m fairly certain I’ll hardly see my son. I can already feel him slipping away… drifting toward adulthood. And I’m not certain I’m ready to let go. Two is that my health is still precarious, and having an empty house is often my worst enemy. Silence breeds anxious thoughts. Being alone is the perfect environment for my imagination to run rampant. And if it’s running with a story line that’s great, but if it’s running with fear and worry about my health, then it’s not as great.

So it’s no surprise that I was dreading the first day of school this year. I dropped my kids off last Tuesday and then came home feeling a little down. To my credit, I kept my chin up and immediately started work on my new series. And the truth is that it’s exciting. I am really looking forward to this new series. And as I started writing, I found myself falling quickly for the characters.

MAKETHEPLAY

But there were also setbacks. I suffered a flare up the last week of summer, and last week I was put on new meds. Apparently my body didn’t like the new meds that much because I had an allergic reaction to them, and had to stop taking them. And I found myself longing for summer. Longing to go back to days of hanging with my kids instead of sitting at home in an empty house while not feeling well.

But time moves forward, and I have to find my way back to a healthy routine. Today has started out rough. I thought I would get a lot of writing done, but my characters are pretty tight-lipped. However, I know they’ll start chattering at some point. Most likely it will happen tonight when I’m trying to sleep, so I’ll do my best to coax them out before that.

I’ll keep chugging along. I’ll keep surrendering to God, and trusting Him for healing. And I’ll keep cherishing every moment I have with my kids. I have no doubt that before I know it, this book will be written, my body will cooperate and I will find my routine.

Until that happens I appreciate your prayers, and kind words. I love knowing that you, my sweet readers, are pulling for me. I am doing my best to deliver your next book boyfriend to you soon.

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